Yesteryear.

My family and I are kind of partial to yesteryear when it comes to T.V. and such. We have purchased DVD's of older shows like, I Love Lucy, Laverne and Shirley, The Lucy Show, Mash, Golden Girls, Etc, etc. I like the comedy that is not dirty or just implied where you don’t actually see it and comedy that uses a play on words. Here are some of my favorites.
From Laverne and Shirley.
Frank Defazio: Laverne and Shirley are good girls and they don’t “Vo-dee-oh-doh-doh”.
To Laverne: [in a note] “If in heaven we don’t meet, hand in hand we’ll bear the heat. And if it ever gets too hot, Pepsi Cola hits the spot.”
Laverne Defazio: “Are all those girls in those films really naked?”
Aurthur ‘Fonzie Fonzarelli: “No, some of them wear socks!”
Aurthur ‘Fonzie Fonzarelli: “No, some of them wear socks!”
Laverne: "Touch my “L” and your teeth go to Peoria."
Frank Burns: “Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.”
Sophia: “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever is in the glass.”
Rose: “Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time?”
Blanche: “Set the scene, have we been drinking?”
Dorthy: “Ma, I have a feeling you’re lying.”
Rose: “Dorthy be positive.”
Dorthy: “Ok, I am positive she’s lying.”
Rose: “Can I ask a stupid question?”
Dorthy: “Better than anybody I know.”
Dorthy: Blanche you have been under more drunken sailors than a nautical toilet.”
Rose: “I haven’t slept with another man since Charlie died.”
Blanche: “Oh, get outta here!”
Dorthy: “Shut up, Blanche. Not all of us are classified by the Navy as a friendly port!”
From I Love Lucy and The Lucy Show.
Lucy: "Ever since we said 'I do', there are so many things we don't."
Lucy: "Ever since we said 'I do', there are so many things we don't."
Lucy: "Do me a favor. Don't cook breakfast for me . . . I'm not strong enough."
Lucy to Ethel: "Our one big chance to live on Easy Street, and we're married to a couple of roadblocks."
From Mash.
Frank Burns: “Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.”
Margaret: “I am not so think as you drunk I am.”
Hawkeye: “Blow in my ear.”
Margaret: “What?”
Hawkeye: “I’m so cold I think my pilot’s gone out.”
Margaret: “What?”
Hawkeye: “I’m so cold I think my pilot’s gone out.”
Hawkeye: “Insanity is just a state of mind.”
Frank Burns: “I love it here.”
Col. Potter: “Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.”
Col. Potter: “Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.”
Margaret: “Oh, Frank. You’re so above average.
Frank Burns: “ I wonder if I can say something useful?”
Trapper: “I often wonder that too, Frank.”
Trapper: “I often wonder that too, Frank.”
B.J. [handing Frank an unused Hari-Kari knife] “Why don’t you do us a favor, and break it in!”
Colonel Lambert: [describing General Mitchell] “Honest, true blue as the day is long, and about as interesting as a five-pound bag of fertilizer.”
Trapper: “I’ve never met a nurse that didn’t register.”
Henry Blake: [to Frank] You’ve gone over my head so many times I have athlete’s scalp.”
Sidney Freedman: [to O.R. Staff] “Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.”
From the Golden Girls.
Sophia: “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever is in the glass.”
Rose: “Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time?”
Blanche: “Set the scene, have we been drinking?”
Dorthy: “Ma, I have a feeling you’re lying.”
Rose: “Dorthy be positive.”
Dorthy: “Ok, I am positive she’s lying.”
Rose: “Can I ask a stupid question?”
Dorthy: “Better than anybody I know.”
Dorthy: Blanche you have been under more drunken sailors than a nautical toilet.”
Rose: “I haven’t slept with another man since Charlie died.”
Blanche: “Oh, get outta here!”
Dorthy: “Shut up, Blanche. Not all of us are classified by the Navy as a friendly port!”